I published this on Saturday. Although I some how managed to miss off over half of the actual post. So reposting in full.
Well I think it’s fair to say, it’s been a really shitty week for most of us.
I’ve spent most of my week hugging toilets, running back an forth to doctors and slowly killing my inner harmony with antibiotics. Pretty much everyone I’ve spoken to this week. Be they my American planner girls, my Bradfordian taxi driver or my Welsh doctor – have all just been in a funk.
Although, as light relief. For those of you with a snarky sense of humour. My Uber driver actually said “Trump is president, and look hell has actually frozen over”
P.S – I also hate snow. Yes, I know. Bah humbug. But you have to remember I’m basically 6ft tall. Combined with all the coordination of Bambi that first time he ventured onto the ice. So it’s really not a winning combo!
So I wanted to chat to you about self care. What is it and why is it important. Well quite frankly, self care is more than important, It’s VITAL. You cannot take care of anyone; unless you’re taking care of yourself first.
You know on plane safety guides. Mothers put your own breathing mask on first. Then your children’s. Because if you don’t have yours on first. Your child isn’t likely to survive anyway.
That’s the extreme point. But here’s another.
You spend all day cleaning house, washing, ironing and running errands. You’re exhausted. You just about feed the kids and crawl into bed yourself. We’ve all been there. But you’re not going to feel like bounding through the autumn leaves. Or having fun time. When you’re drained from life. Your children will not remember how clean the floor was. They won’t remember the scent of bleach burning off their nasal hairs. But they will remember having fun with mum, days out, those spontaneous moments that are forever filed under happy.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t be the care provider. When you don’t take care of yourself.
We are almost taught to believe; that making a decision that don’t benefit others, is selfish. We are let to think that it’s better to give than to receive.
It totally is. But, as anyone will tell you. Life is full of takers. Children in a completely seperate way are takers. Work takes, cleaning house takes. Yes we benefit from a clean home and a wage. But will a clean home feed your children, when you’re too exhausted to cook? Will a wage support you when your health fails you?
A clean floor is wonderful. But take it from a girl who’s deep cleaned an oven on an 8 day*. There’s things in life worth wrecking yourself for. A sparkly hob isn’t one of them.
I spent years trying to be Superwoman, something which I talked about here*^^^. I spent years pushing my boundaries, forcing myself into compromising positions. Overdoing it and crashing and burning badly for it.
Right up until I took the Expert Patient Programme course. I had no idea of what pacing was. I came to chronic illness, from a target driven work life. A job needs doing, it gets done. On time, to the highest achievable quality.
Now, that’s not a bad thing. But for someone with a chronic illness that massively impacts day to day life. Judging my worth by those standards isn’t fair. I learnt that in order to do a job and survive it. I needed to make it more manageable. It needed to be a little more Jada-friendly. So I started breaking my tasks down, spreading them out over longer periods. Prioritising and yes, some days I do skip a task all together.
Even though this seems like a really easy solution. For me, mentally. This was a massive hurdle. But 7 months later, it’s greatly increased my quality of life and the enjoyment of it. I’m not saying I’m quite ready to never mop my floors again. But I’m quite happy to skip a day. It’s just not worth sacrificing my health for!
We have to pick our battles. You have to take time out for you.
Get a massage or have a booty call.
Go for a yoga class, or twerk to trap music.
Smudge your crystals, or reactivate Netflix.
Get your nails done, hair done, hell get everything did. Be fancy.
You deserve pampering. You deserve you time. For some it’s hibernating with a hot bath and a book. For others its mountain climbing. But you have to do the stuff that makes your heart sing. It’s ok if they contrast on a daily basis. This is your happiness and that’s never going to be consistent, repeating the same things over and over.
As a wonderful lightworker and super dope girlboss once said
“Follow what lights you up, and you will light up the world”
Take care of you today. Listen to the things your heart is calling for. Be gentle and kind and patient. Because we cannot be all things at all times. We don’t deserve to come last. Know your worth and wear your invisible crown always!
I really hope this post reaches the people who most need to see it. As that is my intention.
As always if there is anything you would like me to discuss, review or rant over. Give me a shout using the contact page on my site.
Until next time